The Quest toward Femininity
October 1, 2006
It is true in our marriage that many of our gender roles are reversed. Adam is a much better cook, while I can more easily assemble furniture and use my tool set. I don’t generally have a problem with this. I eschew many feminine roles and enjoy the challenges of assembling and fixing broken things, but this week it reached a new low and I now believe I must embark on at least a small quest toward femininity.
I got a haircut. Finally, a better haircut than the $12.99 one I originally got at SuperCuts. And this is a great haircut. It fits my head, it is lighter, it still has length and Adam practically whistled when I came home from the salon.
But there is a small problem. This haircut requires straight hair and my hair has a natural wave to it that precludes straightness in all times of humidity. My hairdresser nicely showed me how to brush and dry my hair so it would fall straight and kindly suggested I invest in a hair-straightener. After the first day of trying to blow my hair straight with a hair-dryer, I went out and bought my first hair-straightener.
The next morning, after showering and attempting to blow my hair straight with the hair-dryer, I plugged in my new toy and set to work. As it turns out, I am inept at doing anything even close to being high maintenance with my appearance. I finally gave up and went to work with wavy hair, calling Adam on my way to warn him of his upcoming fate. The next morning, as I got ready again, Adam came into the bathroom and straightened my hair for me. I do believe we may have hit an all-time low in our marriage. Gender roles should not be so completely reversed. I must learn how, at least minimally, to be a girl and do my own hair. But damn, if it isn’t hard. I had short hair growing up and avoided all this hoopla and now feel like perhaps I missed out on some kind of hair-ritual that teaches young girls how to style and manage their hair.
It was a sad day, made even sadder by my attempts to ‘play’ with make-up while I waited for Adam to get ready. Let us just say thank God for face wash and husbands who can do hair.
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Emily said:
October 2nd, 2006 at 9:07 am
I must see a picture of the new haircut!
Perhaps you could learn to use a hair straightener along with Kendall. I sometimes got a knock on my door to do the parts in the back that she could not reach or see.
Meghan Foote said:
October 2nd, 2006 at 10:23 am
I know exactly what you mean. Boys should be boys and girls, girls.
Now, I have to finish braiding my hair and slip into my pink velour jacket so that I can go visit my old friends at the welding shop.
april said:
October 2nd, 2006 at 9:29 pm
dont worry about it. i cant match clothes. nuc picks out all my outfits for me, as well as his own. gender rules were made to be broken!!
Existential Punk said:
October 3rd, 2006 at 3:41 am
Hey, look at it this way: Time you both can spend together and something he is talented at that can help you, his wife! AND< you have extra time to do other things!
Adele
bobbie said:
October 3rd, 2006 at 7:52 am
don’t give up - i kept my hair long and unstyled for years because of my fear of styling. you can learn and overcome with just a couple of hints.
1 - good product really does help. i know it seems like a huge investment - but start slow and build up your supplies - it lasts forever and as long as you don’t run out of everything at once you can slowly build up your stock.
2 - dry your hair almost to the final stages without brushes and aid - your arms will drop off if it takes you hair long to dry. when it’s almost dry begin to use the brushes.
3 - use the clips that the stylist do to cut your hair - clip up the top and start at the bottom underneath - style it a tiny bit at a time and spray as you go - nexxus makes the most amazing hair spray called maxximum - and it works to hold hair while you style it.
take down little pieces and style them as you go - don’t try to do it all on one layer - it will constantly frustrate you.
4 - if your hair doesn’t get dirty easily you can stretch another day of style with just a tiny bit of straightening the 2nd morning.
flat irons like small pieces of hair - so just use tiny bits and you will start to get the feel of the equipment as you work with it.
5 - play with it at a time when you don’t have anywhere to go. it’s really just about building confidence more than anything.
6 - getting adam to help is wonderful, but the joy of quickly getting out of the house with your hair looking salon styled every day will give such a lift to your day.
i would have NEVER thought i could have done it.
(also those curling iron/blow dryer tools are great for getting coordinated with a round brush - you don’t need both hands to make it work)
there is little better in this world than a good haircut - and being able to keep it looking like you want it just makes it all the better.
wavy hair is miserable sometimes isn’t it?
jcg said:
October 3rd, 2006 at 8:25 am
hello — are photos possible?!?!
elizabeth said:
October 3rd, 2006 at 9:20 am
seriously…hair straighteners are not that hard. do we need to have a tutorial session? and i’ll show you what products to buy. trust me, i’ve tried them all.
and you better look good for class wednesday morning!
jen lemen said:
October 4th, 2006 at 12:12 am
who are we kidding here? surely, adam the metrosexual husband of yours, secretly loved playing hairdresser. and yes, photos are in order. if i were you, i’d stay completely incompetent in this area and milk it for all it’s worth. what decadence!!!