Re-Ordered
May 13, 2005
There are moments when everything gets thrown up in the air. You know
the ones I’m talking about? Not the disastrous moments or the
devastating the moments, but the unordered, chaotic moments - the
moments when your world no longer feels as stable as did the moment
before.
Sometimes it’s change that does it. Sometimes it’s
stress or being overwhelmed. Sometimes it’s unexpected news or a major
change in your plans. Who can really say what sets it off? Sometimes it
creeps up on you slowly - dismantling your security piece by piece.
Sometimes it hits all at once and you wonder if an earthquake has hit
everyone’s life or is it just yours?
I’ve been living in days
that feel jumbled and chaotic. It crept up slowly with finals: stress
and being overwhelmed. It hammered itself home with unexpected news and
the reality of change. The semester is over. People are leaving, for
good and for the summer. It’s all been a bit much and I’ve had to lean
heavily on my friends and good music.
But the semester is over!!
I’ve finished my first year of seminary and I want to celebrate. So
I’ve been doubly bummed. Both for feeling lost and because I so want to
celebrate.
We had baccalaureate tonight (the worship service
before graduation tomorrow morning) and I was reminded once again the
ways in which worship is able to re-order my life. It started with the
reading of the Old Testament passage. It was from Isaiah - a promise
from God:
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
God does not faint or grow weary;
God’s understanding is unserachable.
God gives power to the faint,
and strengthens the powerless.
Even youth will faint and be weary,
and the young will fall exhausted;
but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength,
they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint.”
- Isaiah 40:28-31
All
I needed was to hear it. Hear the promise. I needed the reminder. I
have the faith. I believe the promises. I just needed to hear them. And
I needed the rest of the service too. It reminded me of who I am and
Whose I am. It reminded me of what is important and in Whom I place my
trust and my life. It reminded me of how to live.
It was what I
needed. It re-ordered my life, created meaning out of chaos. It’s like
having your back snapped into place when it’s been out. All of the
sudden you can move normally again. All of the sudden the dull ache and
sharp pains have ceased. All of the sudden you are free to celebrate.
Posted in spirituality by Sarah
