One of those days …
March 3, 2009
So this morning I woke up all kinds of anxious about all kinds of things: school work, a presentation I have to do, money, life, the state of my sock drawer, etc. While anxiety is not my favorite companion, we have had a relationship in the past and been on a few dates here and there and so I know that when anxiety strikes first thing in the morning the best (the only) thing to do is to get up: to get out of bed and start doing something, anything. I know this. And yet. And yet the terrible seduction of anxiety is that it makes you feel like what you really want to do, indeed the what the smartest thing to do, is to stay in bed. And, let’s be honest, anxiety is not a stupid emotion, it has the ability to reason with you. For example, it will tell you that the wisest thing to do is stay in bed because all the stuff you’re anxious about, it’s out there, outside of the bed; and, if you get up, you will have to face it. Whereas, if you stayed in bed, you could possibly fall back asleep and wake up not anxious, or perhaps you could just stay in bed forever and never have to deal with the anxiety-producing stuff. All kinds of positive options, if only you would stay in bed.
Therefore, you can imagine what an heroic effort it took for me to get out of bed this morning. I mean, I’m not saying I deserve a Nobel prize or anything, but a medal would be nice. Sadly, there was no medal, only a spider on my face. That’s right, I exerted the heroic effort, got out of bed, took a shower, got out of the shower, and was brushing my teeth when I felt something on my face. Given that my hair was wrapped up in a towel my powers of deduction told me it was not merely a stray hair. And, when I swiped at my face, a spider came flying off and landed in the sink. Seriously. There was a spider on my face. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I dislike spiders. It is more than words can convey and there was a spider. on. my. face.
And, if that wasn’t enough, my electric toothbrush would then not shut off. It just kept vibrating of it own accord until we took the batteries out. And then when we put the batteries back in, it wouldn’t start. So now I have no toothbrush. And did I mention that one of the things that was making me anxious this morning was money, because we live in California, the most expensive state ever where our rent takes half of our income so there is no more money left for a new toothbrush unless it is the crappy one dollar kind that makes your gums hurt? Yeah.
And then, I picked up my hair product and it fell out of my hands into the trash. I mean, seriously. This is all in the span of about 15 minutes. On a Monday morning. Let’s talk about how we think my week is going to go.
[postscript: My husband read this post and laughed all the way through it. Yeah, that's my life.]
Posted in life by Sarah
Adam said:
March 3rd, 2009 at 12:09 am
It’s true. I did laugh.
I also laughed all the way through this morning, with the spider (now, AFTER I killed it, mind you), the toothbrush and the hair product. She kept saying “SPIDER ON MY FACE!” Which only made me keep thinking of “SNAKES ON A PLANE” and only made me laugh more.
It was a rough morning – but she held it together very well.
For someone who had a spider on her face.
Tony Gnecco said:
March 3rd, 2009 at 12:40 am
When you think about it, the spider didn’t really have a very good Monday morning either. First, one human gets in the way of his web-building, and then the other human kills it! Probably not the out come he was hoping for when he woke up this morning either. It’s all a matter of perspective!
Karen said:
March 3rd, 2009 at 5:26 am
I CANNOT imagine having a spider on my face. I never learned to kill one until you developed such a fear of them, so I can appreciate your distress. Nonetheless, I must admit that I also laughed when I read this. I think it’s one of your many gifts: make something pretty awful into something funny. I hope the rest of the day went better.
Brian Merritt said:
March 3rd, 2009 at 5:51 am
Anxiety can be so terrible. As a person who struggles with panic attacks, general anxiety and social anxiety I understand. Sometimes I do not want to get out of this chair. I am glad that you are able to talk about it. I think that the statistics are that about 20 million people suffer from some sort of anxiety in the United States. So, we are definitely not alone. You are in my prayers.
Tracy said:
March 3rd, 2009 at 6:02 am
I chuckled – but didn’t laugh. I have had those mornings! But my mantra is always that if things are this bad – there is no way to go but up (I HOPE!!!)
Jan said:
March 3rd, 2009 at 7:56 am
I’m not laughing. I’m just glad you’re posting again. Welcome back. All will be well.
Matt said:
March 3rd, 2009 at 8:25 am
I laughed – sorry, but it’s a funny story. One good thing – it can only get better (right?)
Sharmyn said:
March 3rd, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Oh Sarah. I didn’t laugh; I almost cried. I understand the whole crippled-by-anxiety-and-unable-to-move-forward thing. I was reading your blog and was right there with you, muttering to myself, ‘I’d likely stay in bed.’ My Lenten practice is actually attempting to battle my fear, to place my trust in God, to acknowledge each fear, each anxiety, and to respond with one of two breath prayers, ‘God, please help me with my worries.’ or ‘Thy will be done.’ Perhaps one of these will help you when next you feel walled in by the negative energy of anxiety.
I, too, am freakish about spiders (and snakes) and if I’d discovered one on my face I’d have peed my pants on the spot. (Thanks for not sharing if that’s what happened.)
p.s. May I gift you with a new toothbrush?
Karen F. said:
March 5th, 2009 at 10:01 am
I miss you.