Guest Writer . . .

November 10, 2005

We have a new campus newspaper - the first edition was today . . . I thought I would share one of the articles as I find it worthwhile and Adam said I could . . .

The Letter of the Law

Adam J. Copeland

“If you don’t like the way the world is, you change it. You have an obligation to change it. You just do it one step at a time.” –Marian Wright Edelman
“Just ‘cause we’ve always done it that way, don’t mean it’s right.” -Adam

I was planning on changing the world one mailbox at a time. Sure, it was a big goal, but as Edelman advises, we just need to take things one step at a time. I’m sorry to report, however, that my mission to change the world was recently ruined by a memo from the Business Office. You may have noticed that for about six weeks a lime green sign attached to my mailbox in Campbell Hall. Innocent enough, the sign read, “Responding to and encouraging our open and loving community, PLEASE LEAVE OPEN! Thanks, Adam.” You see, I insist that if all the mailboxes in Campbell hall remained unlocked, or at least had the option to remain unlocked, then we would have evidence of one more visible community-spirited effort on campus. I admit, this may be a strange soapbox on which to stand. (And, honestly, I agree with you there.) But students should at least be able to choose whether or not to lock their mailboxes. At Columbia, however, regulations reign and students suffer.

I bring some experience to this justice issue. St. Olaf College and Carleton College, the two small liberal arts colleges in Northfield, Minnesota, are known for two things: their community, and their rivalry. Though the rivalry can become a bit overwhelming at times, the community spirit on each campus remains admirable. Though the campuses compete on the sports field (and in the local taverns), our sensibilities fuse when it comes to the issues of campus mailboxes. Both campuses have unlocked mailboxes—students don’t just choose to leave their boxes unlocked, the boxes just lack a locking mechanism. And, as if this weren’t enough, St. Olaf students share their unlocked mailbox with another student. Each school loves to share these facts on their tours for prospective students. When it comes to community, we speak and act.

So, by taping my little note to my mailbox I attempted to start a trend, a small contribution to our community’s openness. In fact, to explain myself more fully, I even printed up a more detailed mailbox label:

Please LEAVE OPEN my box for the following reasons:
1. CTS is an open, free, and loving community that should only lock doors when absolutely necessary.
2. CTS should openly resist society’s negative “culture of fear.”
3. If boxes are open, people can leave affirming notes, cute messages, or candy for folks without having to use the less-efficient impersonal mail slot.
Please respect my wishes to leave my box open.
Yours truly,
Adam

Imagine the horror I experienced as I walked down the Campbell hall to post my new label and noticed that my worst fears had been realized; my previous message was taken down. But the story only gets worse. In my now locked box I found a memo from an undisclosed source in the business office (Eisgesis knows the identity of the letter writer, but has chosen to withhold the name for fear of retribution). The kindly worded memo focused on two points. First, that U.S. Postal Regulation don’t allow first class mail to be delivered to an unlocked mailbox. And second, that CTS assumes responsibility for items placed in mailboxes. Material placed in unlocked boxes, “could easily be lost, stolen or retrieved by unknown visitors to campus.”

Let us tackle the latter point first. By leaving my box open, I am willing to accept full responsibility for any items that may disappear. Honestly, I am not worried one bit about an “unknown visitor” coming by to pilfer my OT paper—and heck, that would increase my readership by 100%. And when it comes to “checks or confidential letters,” again, I’m willing to take the risk. Just think of our packages downstairs, unaccompanied and unlocked. For some reason I don’t think the mafia is planning a raid on the mailroom any time soon.

The U.S. Postal regulation claim did interest me, however, so I did some research. After a few calls and emails, I spoke to the shift supervisor at the Mailing Requirement Office at the Decatur Main Post Office. The kind women informed me that, contrary to the claim in the business office memo, the seminary can deliver mail in any manner they see fit. Once mail is delivered to campus it ceases to become the responsibility of the post office and their delivery regulations do not apply. But, I thought to myself, even if the regulations required a locked box, isn’t mail delivered to unlocked mailboxes at local homes every day? So, I went to speak to the undisclosed source in the Business Office.

Though our conversation was very congenial, I must sadly admit that I my campaign to open mailboxes has hit a solid brick wall. Every suggestion I made to the faithful Business Office employee was rebutted in clear terms. Come hell or high water, students must keep their mailboxes locked. So, before the tears began rolling down my disillusioned face, I left, discontent, disillusioned, disheveled…disaster.

Now, I barely have the energy to function. I’ve lost all hope in the seminary, the church, and life itself. My personal relationships have all suffered. My family has disowned me, my girlfriend wants to “take a break.” I’m seriously considering a transfer to the Tibetan Buddhist Monastery of Australia, that is, if I can bring myself to get out of bed.

So, Columbia students, I hope this sad news does not bring you to similar straits. And, I hope this article had made one thing abundantly clear. When it comes to postal policy, Columbia just doesn’t deliver.

Posted in life, school by Adam Copeland