This offer commenced multiple hours of conversation in our marriage that took the general form of my whining about how much I wanted to go to Mexico and Adam anxiously pointing out all the obstacles in our way (like his job interview and my lack of a current passport). Needless to say, my whining was more powerful that Adam’s worrying and here we are (apparently you can get in and out of Mexico with a birth certificate and license as long as you’re driving). While it did take a bit of running around (including a vet visit so Sadie could come too), I believe we are both very glad we put in the effort because Mexico is delightful.

Last night we had dinner in a restaurant overlooking the ocean. This morning we slept in, went for a walk on the beach, hung out, went to eat cheap tacos, hung out some more, took some naps, made dinner, and played Monopoly. It has all been very relaxing and unexpected - and even better, Adam got a job at the Apple store and I got a second interview with Kaplan.

We have to head back Saturday so we can work on Sunday, but for tomorrow, we will sit on Erin’s porch, eat scrumptious food, and watch the ocean while we remember that there are good things about living in California (like being able to drive to Mexico).

Since we got back from San Jose on Saturday, Adam and I have spent the majority of our days job hunting, or looking for jobs for which to hunt. As it is only Tuesday, this isn’t that many days, and yet I am exhausted by it all. I have always been fortunate to have jobs fall into my lap, so having to go out and canvas neighborhoods for good places to work, and then having to ask if their hiring and handout endless resumes, is new for me. In some ways I believe my parents might call it character building. There is certainly humility involved as you continually hear again and again that people are not hiring, no matter how amazing you may or may not be. On the other hand, it is a little bit demoralizing to be willing to work and not be able to find the right place.

In seminary we talked a lot about our sense of call – where it was/is that we feel called to be, where we think our gifts and talents might best serve the world and where we also might find joy and energy. Another way of talking about call would be vocation. As someone anticipating another academic program this fall and looking for part-time work to make ends meet, vocation and call aren’t high on my list of priorities; but, there is a certain sense in which I do want to work someplace where I can contribute, and I definitely would prefer to work somewhere live-giving rather than life-draining. Yet, it is the first of July and places have already hired for the summer, so the options are slimmer than they might be at other times of the year, which leaves me both overwhelmed by the process and trying to remind myself that call involves not only what we desire but also what God desires.

In the Presbyterian Church, in order to be ordained into the pastoral ministry, one must both have an interior sense of call as well as have that call confirmed by their home church and the church to which they have been called to serve. While this dual confirmation results in a lengthy ordination process with multiple parties having to sign off on every step, I do think there is something theologically correct about it. As I search for a part-time job, I wonder if I need to learn to focus less on what I would really like and listen more for where God is calling me to be (part-time) in the months to come.

To be honest, I’m not entirely sure why I put this book on my Amazon wish list since historical fiction isn’t generally my favorite and war stories fall even lower on my list. But, the cover did not lie - I could not put it down. It is not a book of light subjects: war, rape, abuse, discrimination, etc; but it is a book that is easy to read and quite gripping. I believe, based on what I read in the back of the book that it is fairly accurate historically, but it tells a fictional story of a young woman who is forced to run away from home during the Revolutionary War. In the course of her journeys she meets a traveling preacher who gives her refuge and eventually ends up joining the army disguised as a boy simply for a way to survive during the winter.

I’m not sure I would say this is a particularly brilliant novel - it doesn’t make my top ten - but it is solid and one of the best I’ve read in awhile.

Anyway, since I am once again procrastinating a paper, I have, of course, been reading the New York Times online instead. And, I came across this op-ed piece from 1996 that was run as an op-classic this morning. Adam and I have lots of conversations about whether or not we will “need” a second car when we move to California; and, if we do, might we let him buy a vespa instead. All of these are purely hypothetical lines of thought since we have no idea where we’ll be living or how far we’ll need to be commuting. But, this piece captures some of my feelings on the subject, albeit with some added anger.

I don’t have so much anger about having to use a car as resignation and small flames of hope that one day it will no longer be needed. Admittedly, we could use the car a lot less than we do, we tend to use it more as a means of convenience than out of necessity, but it’s so ingrained that it’s hard to get over the small inconveniences of having to walk, bike, or wait on public transportation.

All this to say that my hope is we’ll find an apartment near the subway line so we can use more public transportation and less car, but who knows … idealism rarely trumps practicality in my world.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are LOTS of things to be done. We are moving in a month after all; and all of these things sounded very appealing yesterday when I had to write my paper (I mean, who wouldn’t rather run errands, buy rubbermaid storage containers, or clean out their clothes when the alternative is struggling through a paper?). But this afternoon, with a free and clear evening in front of me, none of those things sound the least bit appealing. They all take quite a bit of effort when you really think about it.

Yet, neither do I want to watch TV, which is a very bizarre anomaly that has been worrying about my health and sanity. I watched the episode of House from last night and we finished The Fugitive over lunch and nothing else on the TiVo really grabs my attention. Whereas yesterday, yesterday it all sounded so delightful. This sounds rather whiny, but to be honest, I’m not really complaining, I’m just wondering about this annoying phenomenon. It’s not entirely like the grass is greener on the other side (I definitely do not wish I was still writing a long, boring paper), but it’s kind of close. Maybe the things I can’t have just are so much more appealing for being unattainable …

Anyway, back to my couch sitting.

Anyway, you can see the changes to the blog here, where my favorite books are now pictured and there are links to websites I enjoy, including a link to books I want to read but don’t own, in case you want to buy me a present for helping you procrastinate. And you can search on the sidebar now. And the archives structure has changed. And soon there will be tags and categories you can click on to link you to similar posts of interest. Good deal huh?

Okay, back to work now …

And then I thought about it some more and I thought, wait a minute, does this mean that evangelical Christians are in the army because of their faith? Are they connected? Is this another manifestation of Manifest Destiny? Is there a prevalent belief among those serving that God is leading them into battle or calling them to protect our fair land with arms? And if so, is this so very different from those in Islam who are fighting for that very reason but are called terrorists?

I will admit to being a little brain-dead from staring at my computer and books for so long, and I am quite hungry at the moment, which has always been known to impair my judgment, so perhaps I am missing something obvious, in which case you can feel free to go ahead and point it out in the comments. Or perhaps you were already aware of this in which case you can shame me for not keeping up with the news (normally I procrastinate with TV, hence this library sit-in). Either way - there you have it.

Date: October 25, 2007
Time: 10:19pm
Fact: My husband, Adam Walker Cleaveland, in listing off the litany of chores he no longer wanted to perform mentioned taking care of the dog; after which he said (and I quote), “I’ll clean up her messes inside, I don’t mind, I just don’t want to take care of her anymore.”

Leaving aside his loss of love for the dog, for which you may feel free to berate him, there is a cheerful atmosphere in the house tonight as I relish all the future dog pee in the house I will no longer have to clean up.

Should he go back on his word, which he is desperately trying to do at this very moment, we shall all know the date and time of this proclamation and hold him to it. Life just got a little bit better.

The book tells the story of Alma, an author trying fairly unsuccessfully to write a new novel, and her husband, Richard who is away on a business trip trying to save the world. Intertwined with Alma’s chronicle is the story she is writing of an historical attempt to save the world from smallpox. The two stories wrap around one another in mutually enlightening ways, but the story as a whole drags, seems a bit unrealistic, and fails to make its point in an impressive way.

All in all, I have to say it is probably a book you could live without reading. But, since the rest of Alvarez’s books are quite good, perhaps it would be worth a read with the actual book where you could read a bit faster than listening to someone read it for you.

~~~~

When I was younger, I thought glasses and braces were the coolest things ever. Or, if not the coolest things ever, pretty darn close. I don’t think I actually knew what either of them were for, but they definitely meant you were old or smart or both and I wanted both.

Oh the age of innocence, it is so short.

I got braces when I started high school and got them off the day before senior pictures. Four years had irrevocably cured me of my delusions of orthodontics, though not without significant growing pains.

I finally got my second wish, glasses, after my first summer in seminary (I choose to blame all the little funny marks in Greek that make you squint so frequently). And, like braces, I quickly realized glasses are not all they’re cracked up to be. While admittedly slightly more stylish than braces, I continually forgot them when I needed them, put them down without remembering where and hated having to crane my neck all the way up or down simply to read something through the lenses.

So, since it’s been three years since my first eye exam, I decided that perhaps it was time for a check-up (that and the frequent headaches and not being able to read street signs until I had passed them). That was a week and $150 ago (for the eye exam and trial pair). Let me tell you about how much I dislike contacts. It continually feels like something is in my eye, which is annoying all the time, it often blurs and itches causing me to rub it causing it to blur more causing me to rub it again and you can see the cycle developing. It’s a pain in the butt to put in and take out (though I can do it much faster now than a week ago). And my vision is still often blurry, I still have headaches (even more now) and my reading is not that much better.

I much preferred the days before painful and expensive things were done to my face.