May 19, 2009
I’m still working on getting this sermon posted on the writings page, but meanwhile here’s the sermon I preached on Sunday at Adam’s church …
FALLING SPIRIT
Acts 10:44-48
“While Peter was still speaking, the Holy Spirit fell upon all who heard the word. The circumcised believers who had come with Peter were astounded that the gift of the Holy Spirit had been poured out even on the Gentiles, for they heard them speaking in tongues and extolling God. Then Peter said, “Can anyone withhold the water for baptizing these people who have received the Holy Spirit just as we have?” So he ordered them to be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ. Then they invited him to stay for several days.”
I feel like there’s something you should know up front. I have something of a love affair going on with the Holy Spirit. It’s been going on for quite some time now and at the ripe old age of 28, I find that when I look back I can’t pinpoint where it all began. Yet, as I was thinking about the passage for today and the Spirit and my own fascination with this particular member of the Trinity, I found that there was one moment when I think my love for the Spirit didn’t necessarily begin, but became crystal clear.
It was in the fall of my senior year in college and I was a little stressed out. I had signed on for an honors project for the year studying youth ministry and spirituality and I was already behind. Over the summer, my one task had been to define spirituality so I could use it consistently in my project. And, it was not for lack of trying that I was behind. I can’t even tell you how many books on spirituality I had read, but to no avail for they all defined spirituality differently and I could find no common denominator. So, if I tell you that I am a perfectionist, and always prepared, you can begin to imagine the stress I was feeling as I walked towards my adviser’s office, convinced I had failed already. Rather than telling me I was a complete failure, which was nice of him, my adviser sympathized gave me a another book to read, suggesting it might help with my search for a definition.
At first I was confused because this was not a book on spirituality, it was a book on theology, and not just theology, but feminist theology, which I had not read before. But, I was nothing if not a diligent student and so I proceed to read Elizabeth Johnson’s book, She Who Is. And about 80 pages in, Johnson defines the Holy Spirit. She writes, the Spirit is “She-Who-Dwells-Within, divine presence in compassionate engagement with the world.”
That, for me, was the moment. You hear people tell stories about love at first sight – when they glimpse a stranger and know that person is the one for them. Or, stories about conversions when someone steps into a church for the first time, or the first in a long time, and everything changes for them. I’ve never had either of those experiences, but I know what they’re talking about, because that was the feeling for me, when I read this definition of the Spirit. It was as if all that I had learned about faith and religion and God, and all that I had experienced of God suddenly came together and formed a complete whole. It was, perhaps, not quite as life-changing as a conversion experience or love at first sight, though it has shaped my life, but it completely changed the way I look at the world and at faith.
When you start looking for the Spirit, in the world or in the Bible, the Spirit ends up being everywhere. In the very first verses of Genesis, in that first cosmic creation story, the Spirit hovers, or vibrates, over the face of the deep, imbuing creation with Her energy and Spirit. I don’t know about you, but I find God most in nature.
There’s a beautiful scene in the movie Phenomenon where all you see is the wind moving through the trees with this lilting melody in the background. It’s a scene that play at pivotal points throughout the movie, as characters look for comfort and meaning in a world that sees chaotic. For me when I see, or hear, the wind moving through the trees, I have this image of the Spirit gently swaying through creation, stirring up breezes and life, rocking the world in comfort, and brushing her hand gently across our faces.
In the second chapter of Genesis, in the second creation story, God forms humanity out of the dust of the earth and breathes the Spirit into our bodies, filling us with life. The Spirit then becomes not only outside, in creation, but in us as well. I have the image of our breath being a gossamer thread that connects us to God – as we breathe in and out we remember that our breath, our life, is not our own. The Spirit becomes that in which we live and move and have our being.
If the Spirit gives breath to creation in Genesis, by the time we get to the prophet Ezekiel, later in the Old Testament, we see the Spirit as a forceful wind recreating life. In the book of Ezekiel the Spirit becomes the stormy north wind that conveys God’s judgment against Israel. The Spirit is rough and challenging, pushing the community to be who they were created to be.
Perhaps the most well-known passage in Ezekiel is that of the dry bones from the 37th chapter. In the second and third grade Sunday school class two weeks ago we talked about this “Halloween” of a passage in which the Prophet Ezekiel is taken to a desolate valley filled with dry bones signifying the community of Israel in their exile. God comes to Ezekiel and has him prophesy to the four winds, calling upon them to knit back together this broken community. And as bones clatters against bones and sinews and muscle and skin begin to cover them, a lifeless army is brought together before Ezekiel’s very eyes. But it requires a second calling to the Spirit in the wind to bring breath and life back into this community. And so the Spirit comes from the wind, bringing together those who thought they were lost, those who have felt the harsh judgment of God’s disfavor. And the Spirit brings new life.
In the New Testament, the images of Spirit as breath and wind expand to include fire. Earlier in the book of Acts, where our second reading for today came from, the Spirit descends on the believers gathered in Jerusalem and lands on their heads as tongues of fire so that each understands the message of the gospel in their own language. The image of God in fire brings back memories of Moses standing before the burning bush, encountering God for the very first time. When asked who Moses should say is sending him God replies, I am who I am – or – I will be who I will be.
It is in fire that God first identifies Godself to Moses who will lead the Israelites out of slavery. And it is in fire that the Spirit lands on the heads of those who lead the church. The vibrant, purifying, and consuming fire of the Spirit conveys the energy and empowerment we need to go forth into the world, sharing the message of who we are and who God is. In the book of Joel, from the Old Testament, God says “I will pour out my spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions.” At Pentecost we see God pouring out God’s Spirit into the church so that our sons and daughters may prophesy and our elders dream dreams and the young people see visions.
In tenth century Rome, when the day of Pentecost was celebrated the church attempted to dramatize the mystery of the Holy Spirit. According to one author, there were “‘Holy Spirit holes’ in the ceilings of the churches, opening them to the sky, dramatizing architecturally the openness of the church to God and the fabulous fact that the Spirit cannot be contained within the church.” This is the image of the Spirit we encounter in our text from Acts for today.
If the Spirit is traditionally imaged as breath, wind, and fire, it is also equally imaged as a bird. Indeed, the traditional icon for the Spirit in the church is that of the dove. When Jesus is baptized at the beginning of his ministry, the gospel writer Mark reports that “just as Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw the heavens torn apart and the Spirit descending like dove on him. And a voice came from heaven [saying], ‘You are my Son, the beloved; with you I am well pleased’” (Mark 1:10-11). There are a lot of counter-cultural elements in the Bible. But, this is one of my favorites. Jesus is identified, blessed, and told God is pleased with him before he starts his ministry. So frequently in our culture we are blessed only after we have achieved something, but God chooses to bless us first.
Yet, this is not the end of the role of the Spirit in Jesus’ baptism. Immediately after God announces God’s pleasure with Jesus, Mark writes, “And the Spirit immediately drove him into the wilderness” where he was tempted for forty days and forty nights. The Spirit not only comes upon us to mark us as God’s own and reveal God’s pleasure with us; the Spirit also comes to push into places we might not choose to go on our own.
In Celtic Christianity, the Spirit is not imaged as a peaceful dove, but rather as a wild goose. Rather than a passive bird, the goose is a wild one – turbulent and abrasive in its honking, it seems to have a will of its own. This, I must admit, is the image of the Spirit I have in our passage for today. Bear with me as I read the first line of it again: “While Peter was still speaking, the Holy Spirit fell upon all who heard the word.” This is not a polite Holy Spirit; it interrupts Peter in the midst of his sermon. Moreover, this is not a passive dove descending but a Spirit falling.
If we had read the story that preceded these verses you would have seen even more clearly the way in which this Spirit is pushing the boundaries of the Church in uncomfortable and inconvenient ways. According to one commentator, the question the book of Acts is trying to answer is “will the Gentiles be saved?” For this new community that would become the church, the gospel was always intended for the Jewish community. Jesus, after all, was a Jew and his message, so the early church thought, was for the Jews. But, here they are in the book of Acts with the Jewish community rejecting them, persecuting them, and the Gentiles accepting this message, which wasn’t even intended for them. The book of Acts, then, records this struggle of the early church community to figure out who is in and who is out.
Peter, in our passage, is speaking to the circumcised, Jewish believers, to explain why he thinks the gospel ought to be extended even to the Roman military officers who are occupying Israel. You can imagine that this is a hard argument to have to make; indeed, even Peter came to this belief rather unwillingly. Yet, in the middle of his sermon the Spirit interrupts, falling onto the Gentiles who are present identifying them as God’s own.
The Spirit pushes this early community into places and relationships they might not have chosen on their own. This is no comforting Spirit sent to make these early believers feel good. This is a Spirit leading and guiding an at-times-unwilling-Church into the vision of the future God has laid out for them.
There is no one image of the Spirit that dominates our tradition. No single, unified story to tell that explains who the Spirit is and what the Spirit does. And this is not an oversight. The Spirit is the breath and life of creation – of the natural world and of you and I – the Divine Breath that sustains the universe. The Spirit is the Go-Between God – that of God which dwells within us. But the Spirit is also the harsh north wind that challenges us – continually blowing – turning us and again, often against our will, back to God. And the Spirit is the fire – the energy and inspiration we need to bear witness – to who we are, to who God is, and to the vision of the world God has given us. And finally, the Spirit is the wild goose, always flying in front of us creating Holy Spirit holes in the most inconvenient of places … hoping we will follow.
The call for the church, for you and for me, and for all of us together is not to be perfect, not to get it right every single time, but to follow. To be open enough to remember that the Spirit is never where we expect Her to be. To be flexible enough to trust the Spirit even when it feels uncomfortable and She takes us places we would rather not go. To remember that the Spirit is She-Who-Dwells-Within, divine presence in compassionate engagement with the world.
Amen.
Charge/Benediction:
Storyteller Brian Andreas writes that, “Most people don’t know there are angels whose only job is to make sure you don’t get too comfortable & fall asleep & miss your life.”
So, with that in mind …
May the breath of the Holy Spirit comfort you,
May the winds of the Spirit change you,
May the fire of the Spirit empower you,
And may the Wild Goose lead you places you would never have found on your own.
Amen.
Posted in uncategorized by Sarah 
1 Comment »
March 20, 2009
For those of you who remember the spider on my face, can I say that I still feel like things are crawling on me? All the time. In bed, at the gym, inside, outside, at school, etc.
The last of which leads me to an amusing anecdote: I had to give a presentation in class a couple weeks ago, after the spider on face incident, and in the middle of it I swore a spider was crawling down my back and I had to consciously restrain myself from pulling up the back of my shirt and asking my professor, a Franciscan monk who was sitting behind me, to pull off the imaginary spider. Fortunately for everyone involved my self-control was ironclad strong; although to this day I think that particular spider is hiding somewhere on my person - all because I did not ruin my presentation, grade, and integrity by pulling up my shirt in the middle of class.
Posted in uncategorized by Sarah 1 Comment »
March 19, 2009
To be fair, I’ve given it a good solid week and a half; and, I have to tell you, I am not liking this whole “springing ahead” business. There is distinctly no “springing” going on for me. In fact, I am more tired, less “springy” if you will, than I was before. I know some of you will want to interrupt at this point and say the springing part is happening outside, and yes, fine, but that was happening anyway and changing the time does not change the process of spring. Others will no doubt want to object that “springing ahead,” like “falling back,” is merely a mnemonic device designed to help us remember which way to turn our clocks. I will grant you that is true - I did know, without reservation, that I was moving my clock ahead one hour. But yet, still, these euphemisms are not necessary. Surely there is another way to remind us which way to turn our clocks without also implying at the same time that life ought to be more “sprightly” or “lazy” based on the season.
Or, and here’s a crazy idea, DON’T MESS WITH TIME. Seriously. Time is an imaginary construct, we invented, we abide by it. With all this freedom in determining how time works why on earth did some one develop a system that required changing time. And don’t come back at me with this whole energy saving business because clearly that’s a load of hogwash. Obviously the world is out to mess with me; and I don’t like it one bit.
I do know that some of you crazies like it because it gives you more light in the evenings. So, for those of you living the dark corners of the country, fine, good for you. But for those of us living places where it is plenty light in the evening already why are you taking away the morning light? Do you have any idea how much harder it is to get up in the dark? Do you realize that you have effectively pushed my wake up time back from 7:30-8 to 8:30-9? That’s a whole hour. Jerks. I do not have an hour to lose at this point in the semester. GIVE ME MY HOUR BACK!!
Not that I’m bitter or obsessed about this.
Posted in uncategorized by Sarah 2 Comments »
March 3, 2009
So this morning I woke up all kinds of anxious about all kinds of things: school work, a presentation I have to do, money, life, the state of my sock drawer, etc. While anxiety is not my favorite companion, we have had a relationship in the past and been on a few dates here and there and so I know that when anxiety strikes first thing in the morning the best (the only) thing to do is to get up: to get out of bed and start doing something, anything. I know this. And yet. And yet the terrible seduction of anxiety is that it makes you feel like what you really want to do, indeed the what the smartest thing to do, is to stay in bed. And, let’s be honest, anxiety is not a stupid emotion, it has the ability to reason with you. For example, it will tell you that the wisest thing to do is stay in bed because all the stuff you’re anxious about, it’s out there, outside of the bed; and, if you get up, you will have to face it. Whereas, if you stayed in bed, you could possibly fall back asleep and wake up not anxious, or perhaps you could just stay in bed forever and never have to deal with the anxiety-producing stuff. All kinds of positive options, if only you would stay in bed.
Therefore, you can imagine what an heroic effort it took for me to get out of bed this morning. I mean, I’m not saying I deserve a Nobel prize or anything, but a medal would be nice. Sadly, there was no medal, only a spider on my face. That’s right, I exerted the heroic effort, got out of bed, took a shower, got out of the shower, and was brushing my teeth when I felt something on my face. Given that my hair was wrapped up in a towel my powers of deduction told me it was not merely a stray hair. And, when I swiped at my face, a spider came flying off and landed in the sink. Seriously. There was a spider on my face. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I dislike spiders. It is more than words can convey and there was a spider. on. my. face.
And, if that wasn’t enough, my electric toothbrush would then not shut off. It just kept vibrating of it own accord until we took the batteries out. And then when we put the batteries back in, it wouldn’t start. So now I have no toothbrush. And did I mention that one of the things that was making me anxious this morning was money, because we live in California, the most expensive state ever where our rent takes half of our income so there is no more money left for a new toothbrush unless it is the crappy one dollar kind that makes your gums hurt? Yeah.
And then, I picked up my hair product and it fell out of my hands into the trash. I mean, seriously. This is all in the span of about 15 minutes. On a Monday morning. Let’s talk about how we think my week is going to go.
[postscript: My husband read this post and laughed all the way through it. Yeah, that's my life.]
Posted in life by Sarah 9 Comments »
March 1, 2009
… so now I can leave you for another six months if I please.
Aha! You’ve seen the pattern. Who says you aren’t genius? Okay, so when I finally get around to blogging I feel the need to tell you everything I think you ought to know that I have been saving just for you. But, I don’t want to put it all in one post because that would be too long and you’d get bored. And so is born the phenomenon of two-posts-in-one-week-and-then-no-posts-in-six-months.
Yesterday, I drastically improved your life by informing you of music you ought not live without (you’re welcome); today, I intend to improve your life by telling you about a blog that will make your life scintillate (that’s right, scintillate). Again, you must not cease and desist when I tell you it is written by my brother because a little logic will tell you that if you like my blog, chances are you’ll like his; I will admit that we are quite different (he is, after all, studying some kind of science that I have no comprehension of and he likewise thinks religion is for the kookies (yes I did just make a noun out of an adjective) in the world), but we are genetically related so our natural abilities are obviously similar (obviously), which is my way of saying that he can write better than I (point in fact, he named his blog nuggets of nugacity and I had to look the second word up). Plus, he posts far more frequently than I do (that last part might have something to do with the blog being a class assignment). At any rate, it’s not all science on his blog and what science is there is popular and fascinating - like this recent post on a fish that hops with a fin and looks drunk. Plus, he posts a lot of videos, and he keeps abreast of interesting stories so that I don’t have to. Overall, it’s a very handy (and amusing) service he provides and you would be remiss not to subscribe.
Posted in blog, news, reviews by Sarah 1 Comment »
February 28, 2009
Yes, I know, please pick yourself back up off the ground - this is indeed a brand new blog post; and yes, I am aware that it has been almost six months. What can I tell you? As it turns out, PhD life is not all downhill from admission - it is freaking uphill all the dang way. So, while I would OBVIOUSLY love to blog to you all the days long, my brain has been rather preoccupied by two thoughts:
- Must do reading.
- Don’t want to do anymore f***ing reading.
So now you’re caught up.
In other, far more exciting news, my friend Caroline finally released a CD last year. And, lest you stop reading here because you think everyone who blogs about a friend’s music is clearly biased, you can read Adam’s glowing review of the CD (from months ago) and rest assured that he has never met Caroline and was as suspicious as you are about my forcing him to listen to a friend’s muisc.
That said, you ought to leave this page right now (don’t worry, I won’t delete the blog while you’re gone) and go get her music from iTunes.
“A Me Shaped Hole,” the name of her CD, is a mix of Americana and folk music, in my humble no-nothing-serious-about-music-classification opinion. I met Caroline almost six years ago at the Ghost Ranch where we were both working, and I still remember the first time she pulled out her guitar and started singing - it was amazing. I only wish she could have put every song she’s ever sung on this CD. Fortunately for all of us, she has chosen 12 songs that she wrote herself, so we can all afford the CD. Perhaps on her next CD she’ll record all the rest of the songs that have ever come out of her mouth - one can hope.
At any rate, Caroline sent us a copy of her CD back in November and it is still in our car, in the CD player, and we have been known to put it on repeat both in the house and in the car for days - it is a CD that was great the first time, but in my opinion only gets better the more you listen to it (unlike the teenage pop music Adam’s been known to blast in the house when I’m gone). Adam proclaimed to the world that “Blackbird” was his favorite song, but my money is on “Sally” for the winner of a future grammy. But I’ll give him “Blackbird” as a close second.
At this point, having now fulfilled my moral obligation to inform you of music you ought not live without, I am going to cease and desist and return to my PhD shaped world and either read or bang my head against the desk in hopes of shaking lose some more space in which to cram more knowledge and/or as a sign of protest (that is if I can find my desk underneath all these dang books). So, I shall leave you with the links Adam had at the bottom of his review. [And, can we just take a moment to appreciate the fact that I remembered how to embed links and photos in a post even though it has been six months? Yes, that's right, I'm clearly amazing.]
Posted in reviews by Sarah No Comments »
September 7, 2008
One of the things I realized during orientation a few weeks ago is that I have peaked - and I am only 28 (this is very sad I am sure). Perhaps not peaked, but in some ways I do feel as though I’ve reached the top of my mountain and everything from here is downhill.
To be frank, I did not think much about doing an actual PhD program. A PhD program has always been for me that “pie in the sky” dream that you never really think you’ll achieve. Now I know that some of you will protest that clearly I am a born student and of course I was going to get into a PhD program, but if that is your position, suspend that for a minute because that was not my mindset.
I am aware that I possess a decent amount of intelligence, and I know that I am a very good student, but I am by no means the smartest person I know - there are always those people who around me who just seem like they are so smart, not necessarily good students, just smart. In point of fact, I think these people are always philosophy majors since anyone who knows philosophy registers as brilliant in my mind as I find it completely baffling. But I digress. Oh yes, smarter people, and PhD programs are hard to get into, especially if you don’t want to shell out a lot of money. So when I started applying last year I didn’t really think I’d get in anywhere - I know plenty of equally smart or smarter people who haven’t gotten in yet and I know that on top of not being the smartest person I know the whole application process is a big crap shoot. All of this to say that I didn’t really expect to get in anywhere.
So there I was sitting in PhD orientation and having these moments of stunning realization that this is what I’ve really wanted, this is what I’ve worked really hard to achieve, this is what all of those sacrifices were for - it was a great feeling, kind of like being on the top of a roller coaster right before you go down.
And then. And then I realized that not only have I achieved my one really big dream, I now must follow through with it. This may sound a bit obvious, but as classes got started all of the sudden realized that I hadn’t thought much about actually getting a degree, just getting into a program. So, as I sit here doing my massive amounts of reading, I’m having to readjust and rework what’s next because I kind of feel like I’ve achieved it all and am a little baffled that I still have work to do.
Posted in school by Sarah 3 Comments »
September 2, 2008
So Adam has threatened to delete my blog if I don’t write a post by the end of the day. He said that the first day of school required a post and he had the power to delete my sadly inactive blog if I didn’t write something; and clearly there’s nothing like a threat to make me write a post about how I never write posts and today is the first day of the PhD program so it’s likely I’ll keep on not writing posts because the sheer amount of reading they want you to do just to take the tests, let alone for your classes, is a little bit crazy-making. So, here’s my post with long run-on sentences about how I don’t post and how today’s the first day of school so I probably won’t post, but at least I can repeat myself multiple times in one paragraph so you’re kind of glad I don’t post and you wonder how I got into a PhD program anyway because clearly I can’t write.
Having said all of that, I will say that it has been a hectic summer, which we are thankful to have survived in one piece and that the fall looks even more hectic and we’re a little scared. Adam started his new job as a youth pastor today and I, as has been mentioned multiple times now, start classes. Unfortunately, Adam’s new job is in Livermore, which is about 30 miles southeast of here so he has the car all day almost every day, which means that in order for me to get to class I have to walk a mile to the subway, take the subway two stops and then walk another mile to class, and then do the whole thing in reverse to get home. AND, while it is downright chilly here in the summer, it is in the 80s now so it is a little toasty for walking long distances with a bag full of books. Not that I’m complaining, I’m just saying …
So, until the next time Adam threatens to delete my blog, I wish you all the best and if you’re bored and like to read some books for me and take notes, let me know, I have a plethora …
Posted in blog, jobs, life, school by Sarah 3 Comments »
July 6, 2008
Okay. You are all right - Florida is the sunshine state and California is the golden state - if you want to be literal about things.
But is it just me, or don’t you also think of California as the land of promise and sunshine? Perhaps it is just me.
Either way, I wish the golden referred to the rays of sun rather than the dry hills, but alas and alack, apparently all of our wishes don’t come true.
Just for an update, it was cloudy again this morning when I woke up, which made me sad; but, we went for a walk and as we were coming back the sun started to peek through and now, at 10 am, it is sunny - so apparently I just need to sleep in later and then all my problems will be solved.
Posted in blog, life, weather by Sarah 1 Comment »
July 5, 2008
I’m going to write this post and then you’re going to leave me comments that tell me I should know better, so I just want to begin by saying that ‘I knew.’ What, specifically, you ask, did I know? I knew that San Francisco is a chilly place characterized by fog. And, therefore, it was reasonable to assume that the East Bay, which is very near San Francisco, might also be burdened with these weather conditions.
And yet, despite this reasonable knowing that I did do, I still believed I was moving to the sunshine state and that it would be sunny for me because I need sunshine, and I lived in New Jersey for a year so I deserve some sun.
Obviously since I am writing this post, and put the word ‘myth’ in the title, you can see where I’m going with this, but I’m going to go there even though it is obvious: it is not warm, nor sunny in the sunshine state of California. Almost every morning we have lived in Oakland (or at least every morning last week before we vacated for Mexico), we wake up to this low-lying gray cloud/fog/smog, I don’t even know what it is and I don’t particularly care, it is depressing and it makes me want to roll over and go back to sleep until noon when the sun, occasionally, rears its weak head to heat us up to a whopping 70 degrees if we’re lucky.
I know this is a bit whiny, but I really expected, despite knowing better, that California would be sunny and warm, at least in the summer. They tell me to hold out for fall, and I suppose I don’t really have a choice since I’ve enrolled in school and the thought of moving makes us both shudder and feel ill, but it is summer and I would like the warmth and sunshine of the sunshine state to extend north to our small enclave - I did move all the way to the sunshine state, I feel like I’m entitled to a little more sun.
Posted in life by Sarah 6 Comments »
